Dear Freddie
by maggielyn
Summary: It's been driving the entire family mad with grief.


Dear Freddie,

It's supposed to be your 40th birthday today. If you were here right now, George would be pranking, Percy would be complaining, Ron and I would be fighting, and Dad would be trying to make everything go smoothly, making sure Mum's head didn't pop. Now, though, this is a sad day. It's been a sad day for so many years. I remember when I was fifteen and sixteen and your birthday was always such a fun time for all of us. Harry and Hermione would come over and show you and George the latest muggle prank toys they could find from Surrey. Angelina would have her arms around your waist and would be constantly trying to usher you away your room or a closet or the garden.

Now, your birthday is a time, when all of us sit around the kitchen table, staring blankly into the middle, where Dad places a box with your birthday present. Angelina doesn't show herself around anymore. She was never really able to get over what happened at the battle. Hermione writes a poem and places it on top of the box every year. Mum isn't hysterical anymore, but it hurts to pass her bedroom anymore, because you can always hear the sniffles. She hasn't gone completely demented with pain. She's trying to move on, but there are reminders everywhere.

I have to be honest and say I really have tried not to cry about what has happened since the month after the battle. It was just too painful. It didn't help to cry. It just made the hurt explode inside, so I've held it back. 19 years is too long to go without crying. I don't even feel like myself anymore, Fred. I feel like a shell. I can barely play Quidditch anymore without feeling like I'm going to break down. That's why I'm writing this. I'm writing to let go. I'm not going to cry over this anymore, Fred. I've lived longer without you then I have with you, and that's a hard thing to face, but I have to relearn who I am, and I can't do that without letting go of the past, and the past is you.

I'm not just writing to rant though. I wanted to tell you that you're an uncle. Harry and I got married in the fall. I know you never really liked the fact that I had been dating Harry, but he makes me happy, and now you're the uncle of a beautiful little girl. We named her Lily. She has Harry's eyes. She reminds me a lot of you, though. Even though she's only three weeks old, I can tell she's going to take the most after you. She's going to be a joker.

Hermione and Ron are engaged, and are already expecting a baby. A girl as well. They're going to name her Rose. We're waiting to see if she gets the ginger hair or not. I personally think she's going to take more after Hermione, but the others are optimistic.

Even though you're not with us anymore, that doesn't mean we don't still smile when we think about you. still remembers when you used to use those extendable ears to eavesdrop on the Order of the Phoenix. We used the rest of the extendable ears that were left in the attic. We used them to listen in on Harry and Ron, Hermione and I did. Apparently, Ron wants to name the baby Fredricqua. Unfortunately, Hermione refuses to put any child of hers through that torture. I mean, don't get me wrong; Fredrick was a good, fitting name for you, but for a girl, I'm not so sure.

I know you aren't going to read this, Fred, but if you were going to, I would really hope that you still knew that we all still love you and miss you. I know we didn't exactly have the best relationship when you were alive, but after losing you, I realized just how lucky I was to have such an smart, brave man as a brother. And yeah, the jokes were a plus, too.

So, this is me, doing what I couldn't do nineteen years ago. I'm saying goodbye to the past and I'm moving on. This is for the good of my family. I'm never going to forget you, but I have to simply remember and not mourn. You're always going to be my brother, and that's never going to change. Our little family isn't always going to be the same for ever and ever and ever amen, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy. So, goodbye for now. I assure you we'll see each other around. I love you so much.

Your Sister,

Ginny


End file.
